He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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