I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i love accidental penises.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
