Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
