I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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