you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Randomize
