Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
