so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
