Princesses don't give blow jobs
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Boobs are out for the taking
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
