So drunk its hurt
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
