It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize