Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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