Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
