Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
