ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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