Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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