Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
