I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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