you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
