I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
