moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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