Can i not drive my cunt home
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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