Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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