woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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