I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
