He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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