she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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