sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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