So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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