i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
