weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
