weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
