How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
