You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
