yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
