is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize