You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
