It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
