don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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