so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
