One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
