do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
