That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
