hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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