i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
