I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
