Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
