Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize