Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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