She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I came so hard my ears popped.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
