Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
