im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
