Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
