D3 body, D1 cock
i think i have two assholes
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize