i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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