Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
