Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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