I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize