he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
