Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
