Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
