I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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