How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
