Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Can I color on your dick again?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
