I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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