a queef is a wish your heart makes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Damn victory sex feels great
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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