Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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