I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize