I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize